Rain!!!

This October has seen some weather extremes - lots of rain, then up into the 90's again, back to more rain (unusual here). Yesterday, it was a little cloudy, but we decided to take a drive just to get out. It started raining right after we got into the hills. We almost turned around, then thought what the heck;-) The air smelled so good, and it was so awesome and refreshing to be out in the rain. The thunder and lightning came a little close, but just spiced things up a little - actually, the animals didn't seem to phased by it, which was surprising. Unfortunately, the conditions weren't great for photos, and they were all a little dark. After some editing, these are the best of the bunch, and I thought I'd share:-)

Just to prove there were actual raindrops... Woo hoo!

This cutie is a bit u-necked (looked young, so maybe just needs some muscles), but was a total sweetie. She and her pal, below, came over for pets and scratches:-)

"Black Eye" - Couldn't resist the opportunity to add to my horse eye photo collection! He was a very mellow fellow.

Buckeyes bring a little light to a dark spot.

"What's One More?" Guess nothing's going to stop a woodpecker from pecking;-)

In the same vein, apparently it wasn't raining hard enough for this Lark Sparrow. There was a little group of them in the middle of the road bathing. They weren't close enough to get a real good shot from inside the car, but still funny. Like little kids playing in puddles!

On the other hand, this little sparrow is taking a break and trying to dry off.

"Might as well Jump!" - If only there had been more light and time, this would have been the shot of the day! My mom spotted this guy as we rounded a corner, but there was a truck coming from the other side. I only had a second before he left with the rest of his group. This was so dark, that I really had to edit it to get it to this point. There were lots of quail out and about, but they always scurry into the brush so quickly - not that I blame them, but they're so handsome, I always try to catch them:-)

And this is a teaser shot for my next post. This handsome little guy was photographed yesterday, too, but you have to stay tuned to see some very humorous cows coming to my blog this week...

Happy 50th, Arabian Horse World!

It’s been so long since I’ve added a new post that I’m almost embarrassed to come back. I’ve had several ideas running through my head, but always wind up procrastinating and putting off writing. However, I’m finally going with one of those ideas – the anniversary of a very special magazine.

While you might wonder how a magazine could tie into the other topics I’ve written about, I can honestly say that Arabian Horse World (AHW) has impacted my life more than any other magazine or literary creation. Recently, I had the chance to bring this glorious, slick celebration of the Arabian horse into my life again through an irresistible e-mail offer. Receiving that first issue brought back so many memories, and was a very emotional experience…

When we had to give up our horses in 2003, I had no reason or desire to have AHW in my life anymore. As the pain receded, though, I found myself drawn to their website from time to time. 22 years of devotion to the breed is hard to let go of. Though not actively involved, I still have my opinions; that fire that once consumed me still glows in the corner of my heart. So, while I didn’t have a really good reason to subscribe again, and there were other more logical ways to spend the money, I did it anyway. I’ll give some of the “credit” to my mom, who, when I told her about the offer, said that I’d better do it:-)

I’m sure this doesn’t sound like a big deal to you. After all, it is just a magazine. However, I spent a lot of years obsessed with AHW. And, um, obsessed is putting it mildly, lol!

We started subscribing in 1981, after we purchased Farrah, our mare. The first issue we received was June 1981, with the stallion *Serafix on the cover (Farrah’s grandsire). Keep in mind that I no longer have my collection, just my memories. We had no way to take it with us when we lost everything in Oregon, so all 20 some odd years minus one issue stayed in the garage of that rental home. Picture several hundred pounds of magazines carted with us through several moves prior to that point – obsession!

From that first issue, I was enthralled. I was only 12, but soon found an infinite number of ways to use AHW for educational purposes. No kidding! It started with finding out I had a photographic memory. One of my mom’s friends used to test me by showing photos on random pages and having me name all the horses. I rarely missed. AHW at that time was up to 500 pages a month, and double that for their stallion issue.

Being obsessed with both Arabian horses and Arabian Horse World, I started finding other ways to use the magazine to enhance my education. I was able to incorporate the magazine into almost every class all the way through high school. Science and math were the exceptions, and, notably, they were my least favorite subjects. I was even able to include it in my Spanish class – after all, there are Spanish Arabians:-) Almost everything I wrote was about horses, so English was a favorite subject:-)

Probably the best use of the magazine was for art. If you read this post: Horse a Day you’ll see that I draw horses. I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember – I used to do horses in crayon. Once we started receiving AHW, I began drawing Arabians all the time. I did them for art class projects in high school. AHW was a constant source of artistic inspiration. Photographers like Sparagowski, Johnny Johnston, and Polly Knoll provided awe-inspiring images that I attempted to recreate. Of course, my drawings weren’t as good as the originals, but those photos pushed me to keep drawing and learning. When my favorite stallion, *Bandos, passed away, I sent a drawing I’d done from a Sparagowski photo to Ventura Farms (the ranch where Dynasty was filmed). I was overwhelmed on a visit one time to see that drawing in a glass case in their showroom. That was many years ago, but it was a fantastic feeling for an aspiring artist!

Disclaimer here: as an adult, I know that copying others’ photos is no longer okay, nor do I need to. As a kid, I didn’t have any idea, and it was a wonderful way to learn:-)

Arabian Horse World meant so much to me, and I couldn’t have imagined a better place to work. However, I had no idea as to how to get a job there. I was very fortunate that a breeder I’d worked for contacted them, and I was given an interview in 1988. I was hired for a job in the Art Department, though I had zero experience. However, not long after, both of the proof readers became ill, and I was promoted to that position. All those years of memorizing pedigrees had finally paid off!

However, I was only 19, and it was just too much. I was the only one proofing the entire monthly magazine of several hundred pages. If I didn’t catch an error in the beginning rounds, chances were that I wasn’t going to catch it at the end before it went to print. It was an extremely stressful environment. The management at that time was focused only on what we all did wrong each issue, never how well we did (when I say “we”, it was a group session to point out all errors). I know it’s easy to blame others, but it’s how it was – they weren’t bad people, just poor motivators. I was too inexperienced and too impatient to appreciate the long-term possibilities, so gave my notice after only about six months.

To date, my job at AHW is the only one I’ve ever wished I hadn’t given up on so quickly. It’s the one I’ve always wished I still had. My goal for many years was to make a positive difference to the Arabian horse. I wanted to be the next Gladys Brown Edwards, renowned Arabian horse artist and expert. I wanted to see my name in print (in fact, that was one of the biggest thrills while working there – seeing my name in the staff column, lol!).

Even after I quit, I remained obsessed with the magazine. When we first subscribed, it always arrived prior to the first of the month. As the years went on, though, the arrival date kept getting pushed out. Man, every day, I’d be at the mailbox, waiting. It got so bad, that I used to call and see when it had been mailed. Seriously. Just ask the ever-patient and wonderful Rhonda Hall, who I’ve pestered many times over the years. I’ve chilled some since then, Rhonda; I’m just so appreciative of having this new subscription.

I may have chilled, but I still write too much, don’t I? Wow, though, reading back over this and seeing how much AHW has been a part of my life! I certainly know I’m not the only one. For 50 years, AHW has been the foremost publication for Arabian horses. It has shaped the breed, and inspired all who are involved with Arabian horses. It has always striven to remain positive and show the best side of the breed – not an easy feat at times. Through all the ups and downs, Arabian Horse World has always been there. I hope that the next 50 years are even more exciting and inspiring – continuing to find new ways to honor the world’s oldest and most beautiful breed of horse!!!

P.S. Here’s a lovely video from Arabian Horse World’s site honoring their 50th: Anniversary

A Horse a Day – A Challenge to Myself:-)

This is a combination personal and business post. I have decided to take on a challenge that I’ve been thinking about recently: I’m going to draw a horse ACEO (Art Card – 2.5 x 3.5 inches) every day. My mom is constantly telling me I should be doing my drawing, and I thought this would be a good way to do something and complete it:-) The drawings will be in graphite. The other medium I work in is colored pencil. If you know anything about colored pencil, you know it’s not the fastest medium – at least not the way I do it;-) Hence, my drawings will be black and white for now.

Above is my very first drawing. It’s an Arabian horse, and is much more detailed in real life - this is the closest I could get the scan. I plan to do different breeds, but my first is the breed that will always have a hold on my heart. This is where it gets personal… I know it’s still going to be long, but below is a very condensed version of the horse years. It’s still not easy to write, but it’s an important part of the tale and my daily challenge.

From 1981 until June 2003, my mom and I owned and were owned by Arabian horses. I was 12 when we purchased Farrahdette, a purebred Arabian mare. We’d had a sort of mutt horse, but had been boarding at a place that had Arabs. One thing led to another, and we purchased Farrah from a local breeder. At the time, the cost was huge to us, and we had some help for a down payment, and did the rest on terms. We were and always have been a little nutty when it comes to animals:-)

So, I grew up with Farrah. My mom’s and my life revolved around horses. We didn’t show, though we went to a lot of shows just to watch. We bred Farrah three times, each time learning more. We were never rich financially, but I feel I was blessed by having horses in my life. I know we gave up a lot to have them. My mom was a single mom working hard to raise me and to afford the horses. It may not have made sense to others, but it was the world we chose and it brought us joy.

We cleaned extra stalls and did whatever we could to take off on boarding costs, because we had three horses most of the time. At one point, we rented a one room cottage (one small room plus a tiny kitchen, bathroom, and closet) because it had a six stall barn. That was fun;-)

Anyways, I can look back and say it was illogical – all the money we spent over the years on the dream of the horse. Yet, I still wouldn’t change it. Well, except the ending – for sure I would change that.

Horses really were our everything. I’d been drawing them long before we actually had them. In school, if I could put horses into my assignments I did – even Spanish class. The only place it didn’t work was math; no wonder that was my least favorite subject, lol!

Up until 2003, I didn’t know how to identify myself without horses. It almost killed my mom and I to learn how. I don’t think that’s an exaggeration. After we had to give them up/lost them, our downward spiral sped up to an alarming rate that culminated in losing just about everything else.

For some reason, after 9/11, Oregon became the state with the worst economy in the nation. My mom and I had left really unsatisfying jobs just prior to 9/11 to try an endeavor similar to what we’re doing now. I’ll be writing a post on my new views about the economy and all that at a later date. However, at that time, we couldn’t find stable work, or work that had paid as much as we’d been making (which wasn’t all that much).

Our self-belief kept going lower and lower. Our creativity drive went lower, too. And, of course, our bank balance went out the door. We hadn’t had any sort of savings, so things really just went south. We had two car loans, rent, bills, and three horses to pay for – doesn’t work too well without income.

You’d think that we would have sold the horses right away, but we couldn’t bear to. We let a lot of other things go before the horses. Even though keeping them had become a huge burden, we didn’t want to let go. How can you let go of an animal you grew up with? How can you?

Well, if you know something has to be done, but you don’t do anything about, the Universe responds to your energy and things start happening anyways. We could no longer pay the board for the horses after May 15, 2003, the people we boarded with were not sympathetic (they didn’t have to be, but it would have been nice). We had until June 15 to find a solution – I believe I waited until close to the beginning of June to start looking...

June 14, 2003, Farrah and her daughter went to a horse sanctuary in central Oregon. Her son, Deringer, was given to a private individual who was recommended by another horse person. That person chose to sell him not too long after, and wouldn’t divulge to whom. When I allow myself to think about it, there’s still a wound in my heart from that one.

The whole experience still has pain attached to it. In the ensuing years, I’ve been able to shed a great deal. However, writing this proves that there’s still some there. This is, quite possibly, the hardest thing I’ve ever written.

After the day we lost the horses, we lost ourselves. Nothing much mattered anymore. We tried to stay afloat, but didn’t succeed.

I don’t know if this will sound odd or not, but I honestly felt I no longer had the right to anything horse. How could I draw horses anymore after I’d betrayed ours? I couldn’t.

It took a lllllllloooooooonnnnnnggggg time before I allowed myself to acknowledge that while I no longer had my horses, horses were and always will be part of me. I know my mom feels the same. It’s in our blood, there’s no other way I can describe it.

While we don’t have horses anymore, I think we’re still owned by them. By the spirits of the ones we had, by the beauty of those we see now…

And, so, I’ve given myself permission to draw horses again. I’ve even done some colored pencil drawings in the past year or so. I’m making a commitment to do more, and to honor every part of myself. It’s the only way I can go forward…

Note: Farrah passed away on June 1, 2006, at the grand old age of 29. She was still at the sanctuary in Oregon, and had been well-loved (we're so grateful, because finding placement for old horses is hard). April (April Ballerinah) was adopted by a family, and became the daughter's horse. Deringer’s fate remains unknown…